The Juice Ain’t Worth The Squeeze!

July 31st, 2020 will mark my one year anniversary of being a card carrying member of the Ohio Medical Marijuana Registry. I will NOT renew my card on the expiration date. The title of my piece reveals one of the why’s.

First, let me state that I am not against the use of medical marijuana for the management of the various conditions where its efficaciousness has been well documented and not by anecdotal means. At the present time in Ohio there are 22 qualifying conditions, that upon presentation of any of these to a “certified marijuana doctor” will allow one to join the registry. The Ohio Pharmacy Board is the board that certifies a doctor.

So what’s my beef? It is the way that this mini bureaucracy came into being and the flaws that are present today. If you go to your physician with a medical complaint that can be managed by a prescription, said physician will prescribe that medication.

Flaw number one: He or She cannot prescribe medical marijuana for your condition.

Flaw number two: When you receive a prescription from your doctor, it is sent to the pharmacy of your choice. There it is filled and your insurance, if you are lucky enough to have it, will pay for part or in some cases all of it.

Flaw number three: You cannot get medical marijuana from a drug store! Oh no, you must visit an authorized club after showing your driver’s license, and your official card where your visit is downloaded to a state data base. After passing through two remotely activated doors you enter a waiting room where you will sit until a friendly agent opens another locked door and welcomes you into a glitzy showroom, whereby you again lay down your official card plus driver’s license on the counter and then you are free to wander through the showcases in search of the product that will alleviate your ills. All the while you and your agent are being recorded by video cameras inside. There are also cameras outside in the parking lot. The agent follows you behind the show cases (think fancy lighted display cases in jewelry stores)to help you decide. These agents are well meaning individuals but are not medical personnel. They will however describe all the many concoctions and methods (paraphernalia)of using this amazing herb. Every product has a catchy name. Or just buy the many edibles that abound. In my experience all of the agents are users themselves who will share some of their experiences and perhaps help you in making your selection. Once you have decided on your choice(s), then your product(s) are placed in a black opaque, fancy ,ziplock, one use, smell proof bag. I will get to an explanation of (why smell proof and opaque) later on.

Flaw number four: State taxes are levied on your purchase.

Now it is time to pay. Your product(s) are retrieved from another window after another agent gets the product(s) and brings them to your servicing agent. Now the agent tallies them up and (what?) charges you state tax on your purchase? Yes indeed! However, prescriptions from your drug store are not taxed!

Flaw number five: All transactions must be paid for in cash. Why can’t you use a credit or debit card? Because marijuana is still an illegal drug under federal law. Don’t have enough cash? No problem! In in the outer waiting room is an atm machine where you are charged an atm fee for using it.

Flaw number six: Cost of doing business as none of these products are cheap. Veterans and first responders do get a discount which varies on what your service is.

Let’s start with the initial marijuana doctor visit. $499.00

Cost of the card and setup in the state’s database. $50.00

Cost of getting the card sent to you. $50.00

State taxes: 12 1/2 percent.

Renewal after 1 year: $50.00

Renewal of marijuana doctor visit:$160.00

Opaque smell proof bag: I would estimate three to five dollars. They will not allow you to reuse the bags so that is another cost of every purchase.

And now the costs of the products which depends on your usage of course- but it is still very expensive: In my case my doctor and I came to the conclusion I would spend eight to twelve thousand dollars per year. None of it covered by insurance.

So did it work, did it do the job? Sad to say, in my case no. But that is not my beef. It is the money it takes to have these infrastructures and burgeoning bureaucracy all paid for by the users. Even if it did work for me, the juice just ain’t worth the squeeze.

Last why the fancy smell proof black bag? Well, if you happen to get pulled over on the way home from your club visit and you appear a little nervous?

The officer or his drug sniffing dog would not be able to smell the tell-tale skunk smell of pot.

Flaw number seven: No reciprocity as of yet, so if you leave the state and are pulled over…yes, yet another reason for the black bag. If you had to move to another state you also would have to incur these expenses of setup again.

Conclusion: Put the medical marijuana back in control of doctors and pharmacies where it belongs and do away with the state sales taxes. Get rid of the infrastructures which are only needed because of these arcane laws. And lets have these do nothing politicians do away with the federal listing of marijuana as an illegal drug.